We define attitudes as habits of thought. Someone with a positive attitude will have positive habits of thought - people with negative attitudes think negatively.
Some people think of attitudes as personality, We draw a distinction here - personalities are really outer expression of our inner attitudes. So, when people come in contact with us they are responding to our personality, but it is really an outgrowth of our attitudes. "As a man thinketh in his heart - so is he."
Here is an example: Let's say you are a manager with six people reporting to you. You recognize that a communication problem exists, but you also believe that the six people are the biggest jerks that ever walked the face of the earth. You could read several books on improving communications and still never solve the problem. Why? Because your attitude is getting in the way.
As adults we like to believe that we operate based on a logical, thoughtful response to every situation. But we don't. Indeed we all tend to react instinctively to most situations. Here is an example:
Imagine you are driving on a superhighway. It is a magnificent day with beautifully warm temperatures. You have your windows down, the radio is playing your favorite station, and since you are not in any particular hurry, you are only cruising along at about 65 mph (well under the speed limit). As you come around a curve, you see a police car sitting on the side of the road. What is going to happen to your right foot?
Now, intelligently, you know you were not speeding. But because of our basic attitudes about getting tickets, the embarrassment of sitting on the side of the road while people gawk at you, etc., it's almost like our right foot developed a mind of its own.
There is a direct link between the way we think and the way we behave.
If behavior is based on attitudes, then in order to use a higher percentage of our potential or stop wasting it, we must begin by dealing with the thought processes that cause that behavior. And these "Habits of Thought" are our attitudes. So ask yourself - Is your attitude helping you or hurting you? Your team?
It's estimated that up to 95% of our basic personality is formed before the age of five. In order to understand how you are behaving today, we must go back to that very early period of your life.
Now frequently, the first word a baby learns to speak is NO. When a baby goes to touch the stove, what does the parent say? DON'T touch. Or, when the baby goes to write on the wall? DON'T write on the wall. As the child grows older and more sophisticated, the parent grows with him, adding the consequences:
"DON'T touch the stove, or you will get burned."
"DON'T write on the wall, or you'll make your father mad."
As the child ages more and becomes more mature, they learn the classics.
How many of the following statements can you finish?
Don't bite off (more than you can chew).
Children should be seen and not (heard).
Don't go where you're not (invited).
Don't speak unless you're (you're spoken too).
Don't talk to (strangers).
How do these instructions as a child impact you as an adult?
Have you ever walked into a meeting or function, looked around the room, and suddenly realized you in a room full of strangers? How uncomfortable were you? Did you become nervous and somewhat apprehensive about meeting these strangers?
Why?
Because the DON'TS of your childhood have become the CANT'S of your adulthood.
How many times have you presented a new idea to your people and had the first reaction be: "We can't do that . . ." "It will never work" . . . or . . . "We've never done it that way before?" This reaction is usually instinctive and rarely true, and after a certain amount of discussion, you usually win them over to your side. How many times has this attitude prevented your team from trying new and potentially profitable ideas?
With all the negatives, and the impact of our early conditioning, one other fact begins to surface here - attitudes are developed, negative or positive. Therefore, they can be changed or developed further-or improved.
In fact, William James, the father of American psychology, said: "The greatest discovery of the twentieth century is the fact that a human being has the ability to change his attitude." You can change attitudes, but it must be a conscious attempt. Unless you make that attempt, because of the heavy negative influence during the early stages of your life, your basic thought processes tend to be in terms of negatives-of what you can't do as opposed to what you CAN do.
Let's take a closer look at the early negative conditioning.
Let's say this box represents someone, their mind, their attitudes developed from your childhood. Notice all the negative thoughts stored in this box. We may all know of someone just like this.
How does this impact us today?
Let us illustrate: What are your thought processes right now as you read this article? Are they positive, receptive and open-minded to what we are sharing with you? Are you thinking about all the things that will benefit you? Or, are you thinking about what's going to go wrong, how it can fail, how you or your employees are unique and maybe it won't work for you?
How do we overcome all the negative thoughts we developed over the years?
By expanding the box!
All of the things we experience in life are permanently stored. We overcome negative or self-destructive thoughts (Habits of thought - Attitudes) by expanding our self - expanding our world - expanding our experiences - expanding our mind. We accomplish this in a way that we are storing positive thoughts - positive experiences.
But what about when bad things happen? Well, that's life and much of that you have no control over it - However, you do have control over how you will respond - you can control whether you will remember it as a bad experience and add to your negative attitude - or just GET OVER IT - move on with your life, and see it as an opportunity to "build character" and store it as a positive thought about yourself. "I survived another crisis - I am really GOOD!"
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